Journal #11: Draft 2

What does true love mean? Lately, it’s been the question replaying in my head. I know I am in love or was, I am not sure anymore. Up until few days ago, I believed that David was “the one” and I was his. Heck, I was even expecting him to pop the question in the near future. But now my dream of marrying him is now at the verge of vanishing. I blow my newly trimmed bangs from yellow face as I roll out of my bed to find something to eat. I mean is it fair to automatically accuse him of such a big crime with just one text? Seeing that one text form Padma on David’s phone is more torturing than actually being tortured. My curiosity is slowing eating me up like parasites.

“If you think he is cheating then, he is cheating,” my roommate, Jenna, stated.

“But he is not the cheating type, you know, he is not like that and all of our friends know that. Ugh it’s just so confusing,” I mumbled.

“I know it’s hard, but just leave him, besides, what does that rat eating asshole think he is. All men are cheating bastards, period.” Jenna would know, as she is the one with lists of exes.

“I just want to talk to him. My heart tells me that there is something I am misunderstanding. But at the same time, I want to rip that girl’s head off, I want to talk to her first though,” I said in mixed emotion.

After few hours of asking around, I finally got a number.

“Hello, is this Padma?” I hesitated.

“Yeah, who is this?” Padma replied.

“You’re David’s girlfriend right?” I questioned in a demanding manner.

“What?! No, I have a boyfriend and David and I are just friends, besides David has a girlfriend named Ruby,” Padma exclaimed.

“Well that’s not what your text says,” I claimed now in an angry tone.

“Oh… that text.... Well, before you go on any further pointing fingers, did you see my following texts about how it was sent to him by accident and did you see how many times I apologized?” Padma wasn’t about to take any blame.

I, in fact, didn’t see the following text, I had seen the text only seen the first text. In shame, I quickly hang up the phone. I knew I was right about David; he wouldn’t do such a thing. All the sudden, in the midst of imagining seeing David, she remembered leaving a drunken voicemail last night. I jumped up in hurry and put on whatever was the closest to me and busted out of the door in lightening speed. While running to David’s house, I got a call from Alex, her perverted coworker, from the hospital.

“What Alex? I don’t have time for your dirty jokes right now, so whatever it is make is fast,” I said in annoyance.

“Come to the hospital now,” Alex said in a traumatic tone.

“Can’t you get some of the interns to do whatever it is?” I asked, while running out of breath.

There was a long silence and then a big exhale, and finally he said in a nervous tone, “I am serious, I can’t tell you over the phone, just get here right now….”

I could feel it; I could feel that something is wrong, I couldn’t figure out what though. At last it struck to me, Alex was the one who introduced me to David.

Reflection: Based on the feedback in workshop, i now plan to make my story more clear. I am thinking about changing my 1st paragraph to include more details about the main character. I want to find a better way to incorporate details about the main character without compromising the plot of the story. I don't think my first paragraph is eye catching enough to interest the readers, therefore when editing my story, i want to focus mainly on my first paragraph. Additionally, i want to work on my last sentence or the revealing part at the end. I originally thought the last part was a subtext but one of the feedback said that the last part was too confusing, so i want to edit it so that it is not too confusing and still be a subtext.